Sunday, July 13, 2008

Sunday with the Senators – Sports Edition

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There is this writer named Dave Barry who used to write a humour column for the Miami Herald that was syndicated in a lot of papers. He also once wrote a HUMOUR book called Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys, which I personally consider the seminal work in understand why men do the things they do. In that book, he had a section on the ability of men to make commitments, and he starts with (page 59)

“Contrary to what many women believe, it’s fairly easy to develop a long-term, stable, intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course, this guy has to be a Labrador retriever.”
He then tells a hysterical story about Roger and Elaine, ending with the information that women have trouble understanding how men can’t make commitments with women, but: (page 68)
“How come this same guy was somehow capable, at age seven, of committing himself to a lifelong, passionate, win-or-lose relationship with the Kansas City Royals, who have never so much as sent him a card?”
You’d think that this would bring me to Jesse Ventura, and it will, but first, a few words about the presumptive GOP nominee, John McCain.

In the interest of full disclosure: I don’t know anything about sports. If I have to name a team with both the city and the team name, I have to Google it. I only know sports people once they announce they’re going to run for office. I not only don’t know sports, I don’t understand why someone would care about sports, when politics is another option for spending time and effort. HOWEVER, I do understand that there are boys, men and guys (check Dave Barry’s book for the differentials) who know every person in every offensive and defensive football line, every hit/strike that every baseball player ever made, and who can watch golf and think it’s a fast moving afternoon.

But even I was stunned when John McCain mixed up the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. (If only because I’ve been to both places and know they are in different time zones.)

In case you missed it, on Friday, John and Cindy were in Pittsburgh and he said that when he was being tortured by the Vietnamese, he gave them the name of the defensive line of the Pittsburgh Steelers as his squadron members since giving names would stop the abuse.

Yes, but: he actually used the offensive line of the Green Bay Packers. That’s in his autobiography, he’s used it on the trail this year, and it made it into the A&E made for TV movie.

If you’re up on the news, you know that McCain often doesn’t remember things, or claims he didn’t say something when he did, or claims he held a certain position when he actually held the opposite position and then changed his mind. Again.

And the easy answer is that he’s old and he honestly DOESN’T remember things from one day to the next. And that may well be true.

But there is something more ominous, and it comes from an unlikely source: Nancy Reagan. Her endorsement on Friday of John was:
"Ronnie and I always waited until everything was decided, and then we endorsed. Well, obviously this is the nominee of the party."
The problem? The Reagans found that they couldn’t stomach that John was cheating on first wife Carol, and lied about it in court papers. Given that the MSM doesn’t like to dis John, there is still the possibility that this info will get out to the GOP base, hopefully the Evangelical Christian part of the base that is no more in favour of lying and cheating than the rest of us are.

So is it that he doesn’t remember things because he’s in his 70’s? Or is it that he really has NEVER been able to commit to a sports team, a wife, or an idea? Perhaps someone in the MSM will ask him someday…hope springs eternal.

And now back to the Senate – no changes from last week, and none are expected until the money numbers come out on Tuesday, but the big question is: will Jesse run? James George Janos, aka Jesse “The Body” Ventura, an ex-wrestler (that’s sports or entertainment, I can never get that straight), first crossed my radar when he ran for Governor in 1998 against Norm Coleman and Skip Humphrey (son of the former Vice President).

Best bumper sticker of the race: “My governor can beat up your governor”. (Best gubernatorial bumper sticker of all time – Edwin Edward’s against David Duke: “Vote for the Crook: It’s Important”. I don’t have a link, but I actually do own the bumper sticker.)

People are making a big deal about the fact that he might run, and will announce either way tomorrow night. Well, blame the state, since the final ballot filing date is Tuesday, and so that would be his last shot. Of interest is the money. He won the Governor’s race spending less than anyone else. This year, he doesn’t plan to raise more than $1 or $2 million dollars in a race that will likely be the most expensive of the year, and when Coleman and Franken raised almost $23 million by the end of March.

But what do you think?